I was always told that I was not a 'normal' kid, pre-teen, teenager, or young adult and this makes me question the thought if I was ever a 'normal' kid, whatever that may entitle ("wishing desperately that I had a long Gandolf beard that I could stroke in a way that it made me look like I was pondering this thought with much intent.") What exactly is it to be normal anyway, and why would individuals want to be like everyone else? I guess I wasn't normal. Playing on my trampoline by myself pretending that I was off in a far away white glossed world that shined as the intense sun shone down on the marshmallow-ed filled scenery. In this world, everything was a big, puffy marshmallow. I could sleep on my 'cloud' bed as I liked to think of it, I could ride my sticky mallowed bike to the marshmallow store and order marshmallows from no other than the Marshmallow man himself. The cobbled-stoned marshmallow-ed filled streets would guide me to the marshes where frog mallow toads would float lazily on their marshmallow pads. Whenever I was hungry I would simply roll off to my side and take a bite out of whatever piece of matter stood beside me. Now that I bring in the realities of real life growing up through puberty (yes I wrote that) I am glad I didn't eat sugar-filled marshmallows for breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, supper, 2 x snacks or I would be filled with whitey red craters on my face, a.k.a PIMPLES!
... Sorry to whomever may be reading this, that was a slight flash back to those weirder times back in my day. If you are appalled that I would write down my journal on this blog site to voice to the world, I believe you are in the wrong blog. **Disclaimer mixed in with a tidbit of FYI: There is a button at the top of the page that says 'next blog' for those that do not want to continue. For those brave souls who dare trek past my previous rambling... my prayers are with you.**
This should be the start of my blog, you can pretend that it is in fact at the beginning or take it for what it is and accept that my true start will begin here: Initialize, and engage blog T-Minus 1 second.
I have wrote this blog to allow my 'introverted-ness' ways to be expressed, because apparently I cannot keep all my thoughts to myself and that I must divulge them. Sometimes I wonder if my head will explode with a fusion of rich, creamy colors intertwined with thought blurbs almost like a cookies & cream bar smashed together with the vivid colors we can only imagine from the Strawberry Fields because I am thinking all too much. Luckily, I still do have my head intact; of course with the help of superglue to piece back the remaining bits. As you may or may not know quite yet, I have not written a lot of blogs before and maybe this type of introversion spewing is best suited for the pages of my journals. But if nobody challenged the norm, where would the world be?
More of a introduction that I believe I should state, now isn't that the beauty of having your own space to write? I am able to voice my opinions freely without the fear of being judged (which is why I am disabling the comments sections.) I see colours around other peoples bodies, floating hazily like the Aurora Borealis in the Northern sky nights,striking up different colours depending on the mood. I seen images of past people in my eye of the third when I was younger, scaring me to believe I was going clinically insane (the fear has now been dissolved, thankfully.)
I question everything.
Now some may ask what I think about. Example: "Jesse, what do you think about?"
I question everything.
Now some may ask what I think about. Example: "Jesse, what do you think about?"
My response is almost a broken-record player answer, think of me stating this response in a monotonous voice, the kind you could hear in a worn down school speaker breathed from the wisps of the underpaid secretary, the answer would simply be "life." How can one not think about life for all it's mysteries?
Questions that I contemplate frequently in regards to life:
- Why am I here on this Earth?
- Where did I come from, expect the usual answer (Ma, and Pa.)? - This may have a subtle hint of spirituality sprinkled on it.
- How many previous lives did I in fact live before entering this body? - Once again, spirituality.
- Does everything actually happen for a reason?
- Cont. of # 4 If so, will I ever know the reason?
- What would I do if I did in fact win the lottery?
- What is the meaning to life? (and no, it is not 42... for those who know the movie)
- What do I want to accomplish out of this life?
- ... What are they thinking about?
The thing is, I may never know the answer to these questions.
Moving along.
Apparently in the likes of others' eyes I am 'too deep' what ever that may mean. I reply with the first answer that pops into my head, "Well then, grab a shovel and get digging 'til you reach my 'deep', because I am not climbing up." A subtle smile hinted with a quick roll of my eyes like a teen girl scoffing at her 'rents ends off that type of conversation.
To finish off this one post I would like to leave you a quote from Mr. Jimi Hendrix:
"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, the world will know peace."
-Autumo
